2012 was a ridiculous year. So many things happened, the most notable being that I was interviewed and accepted for my top-choice PhD program. I began in September, and what a whirlwind it's been. Me being me, I took on far too much, and went a little crazy first semester - but it's been a wonderful journey so far, and I'm excited for what 2013 will bring.I've made some amazing friends, and refound old ones, including a best friend with whom I'd had a falling out in sophomore year of college. I've been truly blessed to have such a supportive network of friends and family, although I get terribly homesick sometimes.
I've also discovered a lot about myself -- including that I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was, and that I have a capacity for happiness infinitely larger than I thought it could be. Even in the darkest days, when experiments were going wrong and programs just weren't running like I wanted them to, I could lie down at the end of the day and think that I'm exactly where I want to be. It's a great feeling.
As ever, though, there are things I want to change, to improve about myself. And so, with this, I bring you my list of New Year's Resolutions. I know, I know -- this is a revolutionary concept, the first blog post of its kind. Please bear with me.
1. Stop being scared of failure. This has been one of my biggest shortcomings. A key example: I had to do a final presentation for my lab. I was very nervous for it, and so kept putting off putting together, telling myself that I was just thinking and planning. I ended up getting it all together the night before, and of course it fell short of how good I wanted it to be. So: whatever I'm most nervous to start, I will start first -- I will sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of this world, and conquer whatever the task may be, because damnit Jim, I'm a PhD student, not a coward.
To help myself accomplish this, I'm first being much more aware of overloading myself with activities, and second, I will prioritize projects due on my monthly calendar hanging in my bedroom by colour. Red will mean SCARY, like a presentation (gleeps!). Orange will mean less so. Green will mean regular things, like homework.
2. Exercise. I showed myself this year that, holy moly, I can actually be athletic. I started lifting, I started running; I did a 10k obstacle race, and a zombie run. I also stopped running and lifting regularly when I got to school because I had so much on my plate. Since I'm signed up for a half-marathon, two Tough Mudders, and at least three other races in 2013... I can't really let myself drop the ball.
To help myself do this, I've signed up for Fitocracy, because I really liked the RPG aspects of Nerd Fitness. I'm also putting a little less on my plate, so I will hopefully have more time for working out. Finally, I'm going to start writing on my wall calendar when I've worked out, so I can see what progress I've been making with keeping up the regularity.
3. Cook more regularly, and more healthily. I did really well with this at the start of last semester, but died around midterms and basically just made nachos for every meal thereafter. Oh gosh I love nachos, and I can already feel myself wanting to make them. I also need to stop wasting food, because there have been too many times when I've bought something and then thrown it out before using it (shame on me).
To help myself do this: I want to bring lunch to work every day (unless I know I'll have a free lunch that day), so I will order my groceries on weekends, and prepare as much as I can (e.g. trimming green beans so I only need to cook them, etc) on Sundays. I'm also going to start tracking my meals and go over them every weekend to see how well I did with eating decently. A side project will be to try a new recipe every month, but we'll see how that pans out.
4. Do a NYTimes Crossword Every Day. Maybe not the whole thing on later days, but take 20 minutes to do (part of) one daily. I think it keeps my mind working well, and they're nice to do as I lie in bed, even if I only got home at 4am from the library.
5. Read every day. I'm getting excerpts of Les Miserables delivered to my inbox daily; each takes me about 15 minutes to read. I can do this over lunch. :) Even a chapter will be good!
6. Take more time for self-reflection. I want to think about what I've done well each week, and what I've failed at. It's too easy to get lost in one's mistakes, and I think I've gotten better at moving on from them; that being said, I also want to address them and try to make myself better. How did I disappoint myself? Why? What did I do this week that I'd done poorly before? I'm finally okay with the person that I'm seeing in the mirror. Now I want to work on being proud of that person.
7. Be more lady-like. Less swearing. Less whoops-I-got-too-drunk. If you have more suggestions, I welcome them.
8. Revive this blog. One post a week about anything at all. I can do that. I will post on Saturday mornings.
9. BUDGET. Oh gosh I'm terrible at this. Month-to-month, I can do it, but for first year of grad school, we get our stipends in bulk for a few months at a time. It... could have gone more smoothly. So. Less Starbucksing; less eating out (social is fun; lunch at work is not); less dollar-here-dollar-there spending, because that adds up too fast. Anything I want to buy online, I put in my shopping cart, then come back to the next day.
At this point, I said out loud, "Do I want any more resolutions?" My mother responded, "To quit smoking." We are both aware that I do not smoke. Helpful, mom.
I think that's all. :) Although I'd be happy to find a 10th, because I like 'round' numbers.
